Congrats Heidi!

Read here to hear Heidi tell you about her Master’s Thesis defense!

Time to celebrate, Heidi has successfully defended her Master’s Thesis!

You’ve worked so hard and earned time to enjoy this wonderful acomplishment.  And in the wise words of OSU Self-Esteem info from counseling services offering another tip for strengthening self-esteem is:  “Take Pride in your Achievments.  Even small accomplishments can help build your self respect”

 

Miley Cyrus is Embarrassed

by megan

We are back to the Miley Cyrus Issue, and I just found this quote that Miley released, she explains her emotions to her actions as now being embarrased. 

“I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed” – Miley Cyrus

The OSU Self-Esteem info from counseling services states to improve self esteem:  “Do not put yourself down. It is very difficult to raise your self-esteem if you make disparaging comments about yourself. “

How are we ever to learn from our role models if feelings such as shame, guilt and embarrassment cloud their authentic actions?  I feel saddened that we can not embrace this controversy as a learning experience of role model expectations versus a feeling of public shame and internal embarrassment.   What I think our youth and adults are learning from this is that your actions can be bad, and we as a society WILL NOT accept you unconditionally.  I am sickened by the double standards and aggressive judgment in our culture.

You want a prettier what?!

by Heidi

Here’s an interesting one…

You want a prettier what?!

I found this article while browsing on MSNBC.  It talks about different elective surgical procedures (aka plastic surgery) that have been requested by women.  It begs the question “Who decides what is beautiful?”.  Some of these procedures are performed for health reasons – for example, overly elongated labia can be painful during walking – but many are simply performed at the request of the patient, who is yearning to fit into the category of “beautiful”.

A lot of women have also reported that some procedures – like breast augmentation – actually help improve their self-esteem, but can we consider it healthy self-esteem?  Thoughts?

A Role Model?

by megan

Jessica Valenti Self-Reflection Post that is posted on the Feministing Blog is something I think everyone should read.  Lately, we’ve been asking what is a role model? And who are role models for women and girls to help build their self-esteem?  In my definition of a role model it is someone who is willing to share their lessons good and bad.  I think that the post by Jessica is a substantial example of real individual dealing with issues ranging from social responsibility in her career and activism to self worth and growth as an individual and as a woman.  What I find so remarkable is that on a public forum she is willing to show her growth by saying she didn’t always listen to critics, and now she will listen.  Listening doesn’t mean an individual has to change, but the openness to listening is key to compassion and understanding others, and ultimately, the key to individual growth.

According to readings and such on self-esteem and self-worth, one of the main things we can do is not buy into the critics and negative, but instead to hear it, listen and become aware.  It is through listening to both the negative and positive with a sense of gentle awareness towards ourselves that we can build and maintain our self-esteem!  Thank you Jessica for showing your process of growth.

 Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

I want improved self-esteem and an umpa lumpa

We thought that it would be helpful to start posting random tips regarding self-esteem and what can be done to improve it!  So, we’ve gone to an excellent resource, the Oregon State University counseling services  website for some helpful tips that we plan to share with you throughout the blogging future:

1.  Self esteem is how we feel about ourself whether it is postive or negative. Positive thoughts help us to be productive, loved and capable.  Negative thoughts (such as I’m ugly or not smart) help us to become unlovable, wortheless, unmotivated, and incompetent.

Let us ponder this OSU tip:   Set small and realistic goals for yourself.  Work one at a time and be patient. 

Also, if you desire to build your self esteem by obtaining the impossible goal of getting an umpa lumpa, you can turn yourself into an umpa lumpa by using too much bronzer or fake tanning according to the Urban Dictionary.

 

The Miley Cyrus Issue

by megan

Apparently, these photos and others from a photo shot with Vanity Fair Magazine have upset many people.  Many folks are saying that Miley Cyrus is 15 and too young to be photographed as such.    Maybe  I am not like the others, but I find the images from the photo shot gentle, tasteful and empowering.   First, her parents were on-site the day of the shoot which means they all felt that they felt this was appropriate for their daughter. So by saying these photos are bad or child porn, then we are saying her parents are bad?  Next, it bothers me that people have said the photos of her with her Dad are “creepy” - why is it creepy that she is fortunate enough to have a father involved in her life and that they can celebrate their success?  

I think she seems age appropriate and confident.  In one breath we want our young women to feel good about themselves, then in the next breath, we damn the role models for being too confident.   And in one breathe we want fathers more involved in children’s life, but then we damn them for being photographed with them?    

How do you feel about the photos? 

Is fertility funny?

 by megan

The Baby Mama Film article by Rebecca Traister started a discussion that we’ve been having in my household since ads for this film have been shown. 

At first when I saw the ad for a film about a succesful 30 something woman with no children, who hires a surrogate to carry a child for her, I said “well, this movie is really niched, only 30 something single career women will see this film. Proceeded to joke that I am in my 30s, I feel successful per my defintion, but to say, I don’t have kids didn’t feel funny – where is the joke? The ad for this film proceeded to make me question my choices in life as in focusing on my career with the plan to have children in my mid 30s.  But what grabbed me about the Traister article is the title “Feminism is the New Funny” – is being 30 something, a career and having fertility issues is this both feminism and funny? I guess I’ll need to see the film to appreciate how this film will socially support my choices with humor to focus on career first, having children second.  But all I know is that this was left for me to question, because my partner saw the ad with me, and he didn’t feel the self-esteem and “did I make the right choice” self reflection as I did.